Here at Velo central I like to think we provide a valuable service to our members and the local community as a whole. However we do on occasions get some strange emails and requests for assistance. Many seem to originate in Thailand and appear to compliment us on our insightful posts and knowledge, although they are invariably poorly disguised attempts to sell Viagra. I am not aware of any link between saddle fatigue and the need for such drugs, however you may have noticed my absence from recent rides.
More significantly, I have recently received a request from a local organisation to plug their up and coming summer festival. Yes those friendly bearded chaps from the Ivinghoe Entertainments Committee have requested some assistance from me. They have failed to offer me any inducement whatsoever, and so I have naturally declined their request.
Alas they are a persistent bunch. If like me you thought that the big white tent on the lawn in June, was an over engineered scout project, then you are wrong. No, I am told this is an entertainments facility. On the Friday evening a bar is provided by our splendid friends at the Rose and Crown, and a fine multi course meal is delivered to your table. Immediately after the food, the men in the tent perform the ancient ritual of the chicken dance to an excellent live band, The Choice. The ladies wisely remain at their tables, dressed in their finest clothes, clothes that say to their menfolk “if you could dance you wouldn’t just be looking at me.
This event for some reason is known as the ball, though how quite how Beckham and his ilk could kick it I do not know.
On a Saturday evening a bar is provided by our splendid friends at the Rose and Crown. I told them to stop repeating themselves, but they went to explain that a comedy evening was to follow, and be hosted by non other than Arthur Smith. Not that one down the road from you either, the actual one.
Now I listened patiently to all of this, but again re-affirmed that I would not allow the Vinghoe Veloes website to be used in this shameless manner. But would they stop, no they continued on like a Jehovah’s witness in your living room.
Having failed to have ignited my interest they then tried to pull on my heart strings. Fools! They explained that the committee provides entertainment for the benefit of the villages and makes no profit. Now surely it’s bad enough to be a bad manager, but madness to admit it. Now I don’t do sympathy too well, but I did suggested that they look at some of our earlier posts where they would find some sound financial advice. Did this deter them? No they then went on to say that when they make a surplus they give it away to local charities that make a contribution to the village!
Anyway, to cut to the chase, they tell me that tickets go on sale 3rd March 2012, 9.30-12.30, at Ivinghoe town hall, and other venues through out the village thereafter. If you buy tickets for both nights then you get a discount on the second night. You start to see how they don’t make a profit.
I told them that I couldn’t possibly advise members of the Vinghoe Velos, and their friends, that tickets for these fantastic events would be on sale from 3rd MARCH 2012, in the town hall. We are after all a cycling club, and in that vein I shall now continue.
Here’s this weeks rides.